September 9th, 2003

Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Well, I got my bike fixed, and I got hella unpacking done, but I've still got much more to do.

Our house is really pulling together, thanks in large part to the cleaning efforts of Z & J. I watch them mop & dust & engage in other random cleaning activities, and I wish I had their will to action. Most of my time these days is spent, quite literally, staring at walls, waiting for time to pass until I can suck up another briefly meaningful bit of human interaction. I loathe my job, despite the fact that it's very low-stress, because I don't care one whit about the success of my company. I think I'd like to spend my life as a housewife, building community and taking care of those around me, but when I get home from work I'm so thoroughly bored with the day that I can't bring myself to do more than the minimum necessary chores to survive.

My dream right now is to go another year or two without getting fired, sock away 5 digits into my bank account, quit the full-time scene and found my church. I've got a lot of bad habits to overcome before that will be possible.

Oh, and the house has cable now. Yay house.